Words have POWER!

It has been over 12 years since I had a my last full blown, elephant on my chest,  I know I am gonna die, panic attack. However last night, at approximately 1 am, I was awakened with a gripping pain in my chest, shortness of breath, tingling and numbing sensations,  dizziness and my mouth going from dry mouth to filled with saliva and back again. I just didn't feel right. This went on for about 20 minutes before I finally told my husband what was going on, of course his first thoughts were "do you want me to take you to the ER?" My experience with a panic attack the first time ended up costing us over $10,000, so NO! There is nothing more frightening than a panic attack, especially if you are a woman, cause it could very well be a cardiac event! Needless to say about an hour later the attack subsided. During the attack so many thoughts rolled through my mind, but I continued with my breathing exercises and the "inside my head" conversations with both myself and my Maker.

Panic attacks are not like anxiety attacks, they come out of no where, for no apparent reason, and can last between 10 minutes up to several hours and did I mention, you just know you are knocking on heavens door while becoming more and more anxious waiting for Saint Peter to let you in? I will say that once you realize you are indeed having a panic attack there is a sweet feeling that comes over you knowing the attack WILL end. I am glad that my children were asleep during this, how scary to watch your mom lying on the floor of her bedroom, wide eyed in fear, struggling to breath, all the while making darn good and sure she is ready to meet her Maker. I would not have been able to effectively provide them comfort because it was taking all I had to provide that to myself.

If you have ever had a panic attack, its hard to talk, almost like it takes everything you got to verbalize what you are feeling,  for me, and this may sound strange, the only voice I want to hear during a panic attack is my own.  I believe one of my most endearing qualities is that I am an encourager, and who needs more courage than someone in the trenches of a full blown panic attack, who is being mentally pulled back and forth between, "life and death", because that is literally what you feel. "What if " is the song that is playing in the center of a panic attack and if you get sucked in to that,  then the attack only lasts longer, so you do not need anyone to add to it.

One thing I have learned, regarding my panic attacks, is that the person who has the most power during the attack is YOU. Although a panic attack has physical symptoms, the real attack is a mental one. Living with three individuals who struggle with anxiety I have spent a lot of time talking them down from perceived threats, but it is not my words that are effective, it is them using those words for themselves that calms the storm. Self-talk is powerful, it can make things worse or it can make things better.  Words have power, even the ones we speak to ourselves.


Today I want to encourage you to ready your minds, fill it with good food, because you may not have panic attacks but we all  deal with the battles that play out in our mind. Rather it is something someone has said or done , or our own insecurities, the words we choose to speak to ourselves will determine defeat or victory. Let's choose wisely. Philippians 4:8