All the Moms

A few months ago I was talking with a couple of moms and how each of our kids categorize us. Most of the kids, except my own, called me the "Fun Mom". To be honest I had mixed feelings about that but I realize that there are boundaries when it comes to someone else's children. Although I do not have any problem with intervening, when necessary, you have to be aware of what your own boundaries are as a parent to someone's kid. Let's be honest, when it comes to our kids we are extremely territorial. If my kid does something wrong, I would prefer that a parent come to me and tell me about it rather than take matters into their own hands. I get the whole "it takes a village" concept but I am the chief of my Indians, just as you are of yours, and as such feel that it is my place to correct my own child.  

There is the expectation that we are to be "all mom".  The Fun Mom, The Organized Mom, The Soccer Mom, The Disciplined Mom, The Homeschooling Mom (or the Public or Private School Mom), The Organic Mom, and The Volunteering Mom. There is also the expectation that we are to never be The Tired Mom, The Say-No Mom, The I-Don’t-Know-What-I’m-Doing Mom, The Sit-Down-On-The-Couch Mom, The No-Patience Mom, or The Needy Mom. We simply are expected to be great and glorious at all times, navigating motherhood with skill, energy, and enthusiasm, otherwise, we become the dreaded Bad Mom. Is this an expectation that others have for us or is this what we tell ourselves?

We’ve made it out to be an acrobatic exercise in self-effort, a performance to elicit evaluation, a frantic flying around hoping we’ll stick the landing, wherever that landing might be. The result is what is really going on inside our heads: an acute awareness of all our failures, a gnawing and ever-present feeling that we’re not good enough, especially when we cannot imitate what we imagine other moms to be.

What does it mean to be a good Christian mother? What if we took that question to God? What might He say? We want details, specifics, formulas, but often Scripture makes us take a step back and grasp the big picture: God’s own character and abilities.

“I AM” is what He said to Moses. Moses, who had the same volley of thoughts in his head that we do, reminding him of his not-good-enough, speech and leadership abilities in his case.

But just as God under girded Moses’ calling, He under girds our calling as mothers. I AM pushes away the not-good-enough. I AM said He would do it, and He did it uniquely through the individual, Moses. But what about the daily work of parenting? We still want the details, the specifics, the formula. Later, when God freed the Israelites and He spoke His commands to the people through Moses, He said, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house” (Deuteronomy 6:7). This is as specific as it gets.

To have more would only feed our self-effort in parenting. Which explains the lure of trying to be All the Moms. Being all the moms closes all the gaps, all the questions, all the fears. Nothing is outside of our reach, therefore everything is under our control.Trying to be all the moms makes us feel better, until it doesn’t, and then we vow to do more and try harder.

What if, instead, we put I AM as the foundation and focus of our work in parenting? What if we believed that He still is capable of bringing His will to fruition, in this case His will for our children? What if we were at peace with ourselves that we are but one mom--not all of them--and that God will use our unique abilities and strengths and even our weaknesses to teach the children He’s uniquely gifted us with?

 Is this what it means to live by faith and not by self-effort. Is this what it means to trust God? Is it possible that God was specific with the placement of his children, when choosing mothers as well as what our responsibilities are to them? There are many but I believe our greatest responsibility as parents is to teach them about their Father, to plant His seed in their lives so that He can grow them into His perfect plan for their lives.


I don't want to be "all moms" I just want to be "the mom" that makes her kids relationship with the Father more important than my role as their mother. I want them to learn to look to Him for answers because He is the only thing that has and will always be with them. I want to be the mom that finds peace in knowing that no matter how much I may mess this gig up, God is still in control. He's got me, He's got them and all is well in the world.