Encouragement for the Heavy Heart

 Some seasons in life are just like this, I remind myself. Life weighs you down and you are weary from the toil that it takes on your heart, mind, and body. You question the enormity of the burden that carves away at your exterior and wounds your heart. Exhaustion settles into your very core, and you struggle to put one foot in front of the other. You crave relief from the stress that everything else is placing more demands on you. It’s in this moment that you look to God, and you reach somewhere deep in your soul for the reminders of all His promises.

When your heart is burdened and the weight of life becomes unbearable, God promises to walk with you and carry you.

 

I will be your God throughout your lifetime—
    until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you.
    I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 46:4

 

When your steps take you in circles and the journey is uncertain, God says “let me lead you”.

 

When loneliness shrouds you in darkness and threatens to take your breath away, God promises to light your way and remain by your side.

 

9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

 

When love seems elusive and emptiness fills your soul, God lovingly says “accept my gift of grace”.

 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

 

When joy is stolen by deep sadness, God says, “I will always delight in you”.

 

For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

 

When you feel like you are going to succumb to the exhaustion of maintaining daily life, God says “I will give you rest”.

 

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 

 

I have learned that some seasons in life are just like this! Our hearts are heavy and full of life’s burdens, but God promises to walk through the struggles with us and His Promises are always true and good. Rest in God’s grace today and let His endless love wrap around you as you sink into the hug of His promises!

 

Blessings!

- Tammy

"Do you think the world is ending"

This was the text I woke up to this morning from one of my adult children. As a mother I thought, "Uh Oh what is going on?" and responded concerned,  but as a Christian, with unspoken words, thought, "I sure hope so". With all that has been going on lately in the world and here in the United States, it seems that it is getting worse and harder to find peace here on Earth.


I had high hopes for 2020 and just as we were settling into the new year panic began to build all around us as we were first faced with the COVID-19 pandemic. It was unsettling finding out the entire world was facing an outbreak of the newest superbug. The world was shutting down, businesses closing, people losing their jobs, education institutes closing, hospitals overwhelmed, and sadly thousands upon thousands of people dying all over the world. I don't know how the term "social distancing" affected you, but for me, it shook me to the core. Don't get me wrong, I understand why it was deemed necessary, but I did not think isolation and loss of physical connection with other humans was a good idea. There is nothing that negatively emotionally charges humanity like telling us we cannot do something. Reports of increased suicide and domestic violence worldwide rose while the coronavirus has claimed over 400,000 lives. One might wonder what else can go wrong?

Just as we are coming out of the coronavirus pandemic and start to get back to "normal" we are faced with even more senseless death by the hands of those who took an oath to serve and protect. Although there have been some changes made in law enforcement over the past decade, still much is needed. Although we don't want to hear and see a police officer taking the life of a citizen, black or white, the reality is that since 2014 hate crimes continue to increase annually in the United States. We cannot blame that on law enforcement especially when the ratio is 1/over 300,000 people in the U.S. We want to see changes in how people of color are treated by law enforcement, but the real and lasting change has to happen in all humanity. We as a people have to forget all that we have been taught and experienced over the last century and stop seeing one another as anything other than human. Stop judging others based on the actions of the few. Love and acceptance will never win as long as we constantly make life about our differences. Red, yellow, black, or white, we are all just human. Each and every one of us has to stop perpetuating hate by our actions allowing the actions of our brothers and sisters who need reminding that the color of our skin does not change the fact that we are ALL human. I am afraid that the only way this racial division will end is if the next pandemic causes blindness in anyone that harvests hate in their heart and/or mind or if the world was ending. 

Welcome to 2018

Welcome to 2018!

As I reflect over the 2017 year, many things were learned in my family, some good and some not the best. All in all, we survived and are hopefully stronger and wiser for them.

Some of life's lessons included coming to terms with the fact that some friendships are only for a season even if would like for them to last a life time.

Decisions should never be made on the uncertainty of the future, no matter how much you believe that someone will be apart of your future.

Life and people change with every passing day, one day they are a part of your life and the next day they are not, along with all the friendships you thought you made along the way.

Finally, nothing and no one really matters when you step back and realize that the things and people who stay present in your life deserve your attention because they don't shift with the changing tides of life, they surf those waves right along with you and you with them.

This year holds many changes and new adventures for our family and I am both sad and excited, what mom wouldn't be?

My goals for this year.....learn to transition from the mom to my little girl to the mom of a young woman who will have her very own dreams and goals for the days ahead. Loosening my grip so she can learn to fly on her own and not swoop in to save her when she is falling will be tough, but she has to learn to fly even if that means she will hit the ground a time or two. I am confident that she will do just fine, and she knows I will be there to at least help dust herself off and encourage her to never give up when she does hit the ground. I love and hate that our lives are in for big changes, but that's life.

I am hopeful for the year ahead and feel confident, by the grace, mercy and love of my Heavenly Father that He will be my constant companion and I pray that my kids realize He will also be theirs and always will be.

Happy New Year my friends. I pray that this year holds wonderful things for you all!!!!

Tammy Sales

I am not a dooms-dayer.............

Good Morning. Happy solar eclipse 2017!



I don't know how significant this solar eclipse is to you, but for some it's a pretty big deal. Scientists are excited about getting to study this amazing event, some could care less, and Christians..........well based on some of the things I have read and watched, if they are not sleeping, and many are, then they are on high alert.


The Jewish people have some pretty strong feelings about the lunar and solar eclipses. They follow the lunar calendar and therefore believe that lunar eclipses are warnings to the Jewish people, whereas solar eclipses are warnings to the Gentiles, pretty much everyone else.

I am not a dooms-dayer, but based on the current state of our country, with divisiveness increasingly getting worse, the lack of spiritual leadership, and the unsettling feeling that something is coming our way, perhaps the Jewish people are correct?

No one wants to think about the end of the world. Rather that happens as a result of war, famine, natural disasters, plagues, or even the rapture. It's definitely easier to stay ignorant of the reality that things just aren't getting better for humanity. Aside from the ugliness that we are seeing in people around the world, there are other things to consider. The sun is changing, the moon is getting further and further away, the polar magnetic fields are shifting, glaciers are melting, and the list goes on. We are on the verge of change that will bring challenges this generation has never experienced.

You may not know this about me, but I absolutely love disaster movies! Among my favorites are Twister, Day After Tomorrow, and 2012. Although I am in awe of the power of this great planet, it amazes me to see how humanity responds. The real character of people shows up. Sadly the majority thinks only of themselves, while few others actually have a heart for humanity as a whole. I know they are just movies, and the stories may not be real, but humanities response is dead on and is real everyday around the globe. Ugliness is increasing.

My heart aches, not so much thinking about the upcoming changes that will occur, but for the lack of love being displayed. The seeds of hate have taken root and are spreading like wild fire all across the globe. We, as Christians, need to shine the light of love bright than ever, people need to see that light. It is time for the sleeping Christians to wake up and do what God has commanded up to do. LOVE ONE ANOTHER. We need to get out of our comfort zones and let God have full control of our lives so that He can use us to be the light in a world consumed with darkness. Comfort zones are death zones.

So spread the love and amp up your prayer lives, distractions are the devils playground. Remember, we are in this world but not of this world, and our purpose is to shine the light of God's love, and keep our spiritual 'bug out bags' ready always.

-Tammy

 

Hello routine.........

It has been a while my friends, I hope all is well and trust that you all had a wonderful summer! I enjoyed sleeping in a bit longer (30 minutes), but it was definitely harder to keep up with the cleaning and laundry, and the grocery bill seemed a bit higher as well.  Now it is back to school and normal, day to day, routine. I don't know about you  but as fun as summer can be there is something to be said about having a routine. I never thought I would be the kind of person who liked normal and mundane, but when you are a parent, trying to create a secure environment for your children, there is not way around it. So I say: "Hello routine I have missed you!"

It is hard to believe that my daughter is a Senior! Where has the time gone? My little girl is not so little anymore. I do love that she still likes to get in my lap and receive some loving from her momma, I hope that doesn't change anytime soon. I have watched her go through so many growth spurts over the years, emotionally and mentally speaking, but none as drastic as she has this summer. I am really beginning to see more of the young woman that she is becoming, as time and experience has shaped her thus far. How wonderful and sad at the same time. She still has so much more to look forward to, so much more to learn which means I still have so many prayers to keep praying.

My son is a Junior this year. Unfortunately he does not still get up in my lap to receive some loving from his momma, that changed some years ago. However, no one tells me they love me more than he does. He never goes to bed without hugging me, telling me good night, and saying those ever so sweet words 'I love you'. I love that about him. I see changes in him as well, he is not as forthcoming with his thoughts and feelings, as his sister, but there is no doubt in his mind that if and when he decides he wants or needs me, I will be there. I don't know why the bond between a mother and son are different, but it is. He too still has so much more to learn about becoming the man he thinks he already is, but time and experience will continue to shape him as well, and by the grace of God, and I have not doubts that he too will grow into a wonderful young man.

As for me.....I am looking forward to getting back to my bible studies on a regular basis and focusing on some things I am working on personally. Now that my children drive, I have some extra time I can spend on doing things just for me. I have to get use to that idea, because before you know it, I will have more and more of it, might as well ease into it. I also hope that I will get to spend some quality time with some of you, either walking, drinking coffee, doing a bible study, or just good ole hanging out. So hit me up so we can catch up!

Have a wonderful day!!!!
-Tammy

I need the lows to reach His highs...........

Today, I just need to blog.......vent, unburden, or whatever this ends up being, so just allow me talk.

After forty-seven, almost forty-eight years, I feel pretty confident that I know myself. I know my strengths, my weaknesses, my pretty side and my not so pretty side. I know what makes me laugh, cry, what breaks my heart and what makes me fighting mad. I have learned ways to manage my lows, fly in my highs and how to process uncomfortable feelings that come and go like waves upon the shoreline. I know myself. My biggest struggle, of late, has not been what I can and cannot do for myself, but what I fail to be able to do for those I care so deeply about, and that leaves me feeling quite helpless with a huge sense of inadequacy. I know it's not my fault, and yet I can't help but ask; "if I am powerless then why did God place me in the midst of people, who I believe, need what He is so graciously blessed me with?"

The answer is simple, but hard to share, or rather hard to give, when it is not mine to give, but rather theirs to discover and embrace, as I have. They don't need me so much as they need the love, strength, grace and mercy of that which sustains me........the foundation of a relationship with our Maker. I do not recall a time in my life when the only constant was His presence in my life, even during those times when  my path was not His path.

Discovering that the weight of this world is not this world, but rather the people God has laid in my path, can be a heavy and unbearable weight at times, especially during those times I try to bear it alone. It's easy, when I am feeling strongest, to try to take things on that are not mine to take on, and I suffer for it, struggling to remove the debris tumbling down on me because of my pride. Why is it when we feel strong we forget that strength is not our own?

I have come to believe that is necessary for us to be reminded, perhaps daily, that our greatest strengths are not what make us who we are but those moments in our lives that humble us enough to recognize that our greatest strength is our weakness. This is a true 'light bulb' moment for me. " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am week, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Well, there it is, my much needed manna from heaven. How strange to come to terms with the fact that I need the lows to reach His highs. I feel as thoough there is a big grin on the face of His spirit inside me as His strength carries me and my weaknesses ever so gently on His wings of Love.

-Tammy

Busy, Busy, Busy..........

Good Morning Friends!

I have a busy schedule for the next few days, but I am looking forward to every minute of it!

My sister, Joanie, will arrive today. Joanie has spent the greater part of this year in the hospital with one of the boys, so she is coming alone for some rejuvenation therapy - FAMILY!

Last night I was able to help out my friend Theresa with the High Springs Girls Soccer Banquet set up. You all know I love doing that sort of stuff. Theresa was very appreciative and told me I was a life saver but I just simply said "no even better I am your friend". Theresa I love you and your friendship means the world to me, I am glad I was available to help you out! I will drop off the food around 5:45pm tonight!

Friday is an exciting time for our juniors and seniors of Santa Fe High - PROM!  I don't remember it being so costly when I was in school there, but times have changed and so has the cost of living in this day and time.  Allie got a very beautiful dress. We were going to get it altered but having that done professionally was like $100, just to take in the top of the dress a little, so I decided to do it myself.  It never dawned on me, until I was making the alterations, that for my Junior/Senior Prom, I also wore a pink satin dress, but mine was more of a southern bell style, without all the bling! Memories.......

I understand now why alterations can be so expensive with a dress like that and I cannot guarantee that some of that bling won't come off on the dance floor, but I hope not. Looking at the dress you would not think there was a whole lot to it, but it took me over an hour to steam iron it. I can't wait to see her all dolled up in it, she is really looking forward to it. Now I just have to remember to pick up Jackson's boutonniere.

Friday night, after prom pictures and so forth, while Allie is off to the prom, the rest of us will be doing Family game night. I hope all my siblings can be there, so we will all be in one place, at one time, plus my mom LOVES it! A little too much, she totally missed her calling, she should have been a photographer. By the time the evening is done we just want to take that camera and put it......well you get the picture. This will be nice for her to be in one place with all her kids on Mother's Day weekend. I love my family, they each bring a little something different to the mix. There are lessons we can learn from those differences, if we don't get too hung up in our own pride.  Let love grow.

Saturday, coffee and blueberry picking with my Soul Sister - Leah! I have really missed her since she started working, and I have missed our conversations over coffee. but thanks to modern day technology, we stay connected in other ways. Every once in a while I will pick up two coffees and take one to her at work just so we can still have a cup of coffee together. I think some of the ladies in the office may be a little jealous, maybe next time I will bring a few more.  Looking forward to some Leah time!

Sunday, well I have no plans. Larry works all day, Joanie will be leaving bright and early to head home, and I will be headed to church. After church maybe take a little nap and get ready for the week. Look I am a mother ever day of the week and if my kids only made me feel special one day of the year than that would make me a not so good mommy and their efforts pointless. With the weekend I have planned I will not be lacking in feeling loved so it's all good.

Happy Mother's Day Friends I hope it's full of warm and fuzzy love!

Parenting.......

Parenting is such a huge job, it is by far the most challenging job that I have ever had. I specifically call this a job because it is our job to raise them, love them, guide them, teach them, protect them, clothe them, etc., etc., etc..

As Christian parents, I believe the scope of parenting becomes an even greater challenge because when someone has caused pain to one of our children we have a tendency to throw up a wall around them,  with the greatest intentions of blocking any possibility of more pain, armor up an go to battle for them.  I know because I have done this many times, especially when my children were younger.

One of the things I have tried to instill in my children along the way is to always give grace, show mercy and be forgiving, because this is what we are called to do as Christians. That is not my 'knee jerk' reaction however when one of my kids come to me in pain. Like many of you I just want to hold them, ease the pain and do whatever I can to stop them from hurting at any cost. Sometimes the cost is to not give grace, show mercy or encourage a spirit of forgiveness, all of which brings about the healing that we, as parents, cannot give to our children.


There is no greater teacher, in this life, than pain, and no greater remedy for pain than grace, mercy and forgiveness. Sometimes, as parents, we have to let our children work through the pain, and encourage that they learn how to put up their own 'temporary' walls and take some time to process their pain, and most importantly to seek the Lord for healing and guidance and the strength to be in a place to give grace, show mercy and forgiveness because we ALL need to be given grace, shown mercy, and be forgiven.

I love my children, I have never experienced a greater love in this life than the love I have fore them. It is that love that encourages my heart to show them more than just my love, but to show them the love of our Heavenly Father, and the best way I can do that is to love them they way that He loves me, with hopes that they too will learn to love others the way He love us all. He gives grace when I don't deserve it, mercy when I do deserve punishment and then wraps me  up in His arms of love and forgiveness. I will never love them the way that God can and does, but I will never give up trying and hope someday they too will be able to love others as God does them.

Have a great week my friends.

CHURCH........

After many months of struggling with this, I have come to realize what is important is not what I want personally but what is needed spiritually. As much as I would prefer that my children and I attend the same church, what I want most for them is to know Jesus, to develop a personal relationship with Him, and that requires me to let go of my personal desire of attending church together, and just trust that God will work in each of our lives, even if our church family is not at the same place.

I feel at home at Greenhouse. I love the praise and worship and I love a pastor who preaches BIBLE, things that are applicable to my spiritual life first that inevitable positively affects my human life. I want to be somewhere that stretches me spiritually, not just
personally. My spirit feels at home there.

My daughter feels most at home at Anthem. I can see the draw, especially for young people. It provides an atmosphere for both the churched and unchurched, and although I see the need for this type of church, it just isn't where I feel at home. Andy Stanley is a wonderful speaker and his messages reach anybody, and can be relevant for the church and unchurched. I have never heard a message that when applied can be beneficial.

My son feels more at home at Canvas Church. I have quite a few family members that attend there and maybe for Nick that is the draw. Pastor Mark is an incredible and knowledgeable Pastor, his sermons are similar in style to Andy Stanley. Canvas Church is involved in the community and there are a lot of people Nick knows there.

Bottom line is that regardless of the denomination or location of a church we are all members of THE Church of GOD. The church is you and I not the building that we come to corporately. My hearts desire is for Allie and Nick to grow in their personal relationships with Jesus, that they OWN their faith, not mine, the foundation of my faith is shared so that they can establish their own foundation of faith. So if choosing to go to a church that is different from my own personal preference is what it takes to LET GO and LET GOD, then I will step out of the way and trust that God will grow them wherever they chose to go, as long as they go.

My parents forced us to go to church and many of us stopped going to church as soon as we were our from under the control of our parents. Why? It was not because we did not believe in Jesus, or did not want to be a Christian, but possibly because we lived for so long on the foundations of our parents faith that we never realized that each of us need a personal foundation from which Jesus can grow us personally. I want that for them. I want them to be more prepared spiritually than I was when I left the safety of the home net. Their relationship with Christ is far more important than 'family' church time together. God will grow us where we are planted, I just want them to want to be planted.

Let this cup pass from me.......

 

I trust that you all had a wonderful Easter. I did! I thoroughly enjoyed singing in the Greenhouse Easter Sunday choir, it was incredible to get to serve beside so many during this special time and I look forward to any and all opportunities to do this again.

This morning, during my devotions, I experienced a revelation that I don't recall having ever realized  during the time that I have been a Christian that was just a WOW moment.  I am reading a series by T.D. Jakes called The Six Pillars. This series covers Ephesians. Currently I am on the 3rd part of this series, in perfect timing with the resurrection. I am not sure what I believed about Jesus' words to the Father when He asked him to "let this cup pass from me". Part of me thought it was about all the pain and suffering that He would soon endure from the cross to the grave. It never occurred to me that what concerned Jesus  most was not the physical pain that He would endure, but the pain of  separation that would take place as Jesus took on the sins of humanity, the sin that would cause His Father to look away. I don't know about you, but as a parent, that just broke my heart!

I want that. I want to have THAT kind of relationship with my Father. The kind of relationship that would cause me so much agony to NOT have. For Jesus, that would only be for a few days, but even that was too much for Him to bare, and yet He did, for you and for me. That is so significant. I am crying right this moment just sharing this with you. That is a lot of love.


Jesus didn't just die for us, to be our blood sacrifice, He rose to be our constant connection to His Father, our Father. Jesus wants us to have a close relationship with the Father, it mattered so much to Him and wants it to matter that much to us.

As with any developing relationship there is a period of "getting to know" one another, and the only way we can know the Father, is in the Word. I use to think "why do I need to read the whole bible" but as I have been reading the chronological, and yes it seems a bit wordy at times, I am learning more and more about God and how, despite human failures, has never given up on His chosen people and how grateful I am that He extended the chosen to include you and I. These are not just mere stories of the history of the Jewish people, but a better understanding of who God is and all that He had to do, and continues to do, to  bring us back into a relationship with Him. So I will keep reading that chronological bible because I want to know Him and understand His ways.

Have a great week my friends and make sure you spend some time with your Father!

-Tammy

"The Beauty of Thorns Project"............

 Stepping out on faith should never be a tricky thing. The human condition seems to always give us reasons why we should not. Doubt can be spiritually crippling.

During my devotions this morning, as I was reading about Paul's thorns, and as I read, I felt impressed in my spirit to write about someone, who's thorns, like Paul's, have never been removed. Many wonder why Paul's "thorn in his side" was never revealed, but I have come to believe that was a spiritually a strategic move by God. Truth is, we all have thorns in our lives. It can be an addiction, affliction, personal pain, hidden secrets. The list goes on.  Paul's thorn, was never the point. The point is that regardless of the thorns, if we place our faith and trust in God that His grace it enough.

When God calls us and we chose to follow Him, He is enough to live out the call He places on our lives. All the faith we need has already been allocated to us and deposited in us. The bible tells us that God has dealt to every man a measure of faith. When Jesus spoke those final words of "it is finished" He was not just talking about the price that was paid for our sins. God has placed in each of us everything that we will ever need, and the only way to access it is through Him. By placing our trust in Him, seeking Him through His word and through time with Him we allow the Holy Spirit to gradual reveal the things we are ready to receive. Like a baby that goes from just his momma's milk to real food, that is how our walk with God is. It is a process and from a spiritual stand point, God only gives and reveals those things when we are mature enough to understand and receive them.

I love that if we look with our spiritual eyes that we can see God in everything.

By the grace and direction of the Holy Spirit, I am going to step out in faith, and write a book, because that is what I feel God is calling me to do. You all have been reading my blog for sometime now, and I don't know if I am a good writer or not, but I know that God is enough and will provide all that I need to carry our this calling. When God gives you a title, a story and reveals just how it will happen, what else can I do but step out in faith?

Because you are my friends, I will share with you, what I believe God is sharing with me. Many of you know or have heard me talk about my nephews, Mike and Derrick, and my sister Joanie. I cannot tell you how much God has used them during their lives. They have not just touch my life, in ways too many to mention, I know that God has used them to touch many lives. As I step out in faith, knowing that God is the author and finisher of my faith, I started a "You Caring" account called "The Beauty of Thorns Project" (link below).  I have no idea yet how much time will be involved in this, or how much travel or money this will take, but I do know that I have to follow the direction I believe that God is calling me in to write this story and believe that He is already working on my behalf as to how this will get published. It is not my desire to become some famous writer, it is only my desire to be obedient. I don't even believe this is for me, but rather a legacy of faith in the face of all the un-removed thorns in the lives of those who believe that God's grace is enough.


If you feel, through prayer, that you would like to partner with me as I step out in faith, and want to share "The Beauty of Thorns Project" please share the 'you caring' link below. Please keep me in your prayers that I will be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit as He guides me in writing this book. I won't lie, stepping out in faith like this is unsettling to the human in me, the doubts , the fears, the uncertainty of it all, the probable criticism from others, so many reasons to run and hide and forget this crazy idea but isn't that what faith is? "God is enough" will be my anthem, as He guides me through my "I believe, but help my un-belief" moments.


https://www.youcaring.com/zirlottwinsettfamily-787855

Hanging up my cape..........

I want to thank all of my friends who have reached out to me this week after my last post,  some of you did not waste anytime swooping in to provide strength and encouragement, I am truly blessed to have friends like you!

I would like to say I am back on top, but I suspect this will be a journey, not a quick trip. The weight of living can get overwhelming, and sometimes we don't realize how much it is weighing us down until the load is so heavy that we can't get out from under it alone and need help. Truth is I have trouble recognizing, not just that I need help, but that it is okay to ask for help.

I am currently reading "Uninvited" by Lysa Terkeurst, last night I read something  that really hit me. Like many of you I  enjoy doing bible studies and trying to deepen my relationship with God. Lysa pointed out that with all we do to find God, sometimes we fail to just be with Him. Here is how she explained it :

 "Imagine a little girl running with a cup in her hand sloshing out all it contains. She thinks what will refill her is just ahead. Just a little farther. She presses on with sheer determination and clenched teeth and an empty cup clutched tight. She keeps running toward an agenda He never set and one that will never satisfy. She sees Him and holds her cup. But she catches only a few drops as she runs by Him, because she didn't stop long enough to be filled up. Empty can't be tempered with mere drops. The tragic truth is what will fill her-what will fill us- isn't the accomplishment or the next relationship ahead. That shiny thing is actually a vacuum that sucks us in and sucks us dry....but never had the ability to refill. I should know because that is where I was. There's no kind of empty quite like this empty: where your hands are full but inside you're nothing but and exhausted shell."

Simply put, this is where I am, and perhaps many of you too. I spend so much time in service to God, that I don't spend enough time just being with God. Lysa went on to say;

"Since my fast-paced chase had gotten me into this mess, I knew it would take slow moments to get me out of it. I needed to reconnect with the One who knows how to breathe life and love back into depleted and dead places. Jesus doesn't participate in the rat race. He's into the slower rhythms of life, like abiding, delighting, and dwelling - all work that require us to trust Him with our place and pace."

We, as women and mothers, stay so busy with this or that, that we seldom slow down long enough to truly be filled and refreshed. We are constantly running on fumes. Who set this pace for us? It wasn't God, our Creator. When did we get off script and how can we get back on HIS script for our lives?

SLOW DOWN! STOP! ABIDE! DELIGHT! DWELL! I am not talking about down time. I am talking about knee time. Our cups will never get filled in down time, we may fill refreshed, but is a temporary feeling what we need? I need more.

I have decided that I am hanging up my cape, I don't want to feel like I need to be the superhero in my life and those around me, I just want to be the sidekick to the only real superhero there should be - God. If we would JUST do our parts as women, mothers, wives, etc., etc., eventually those around us would have step up and do theirs. This is what I will trust God for in my life, that I will do my part and He will find a way to get others to do theirs or re-wire me not to take the weight of it all upon myself. I am good with whatever He decides.

Have a good week everyone.

This is NOT me...............

Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of just losing it? Truth is, I am struggling. I don't know if it's hormones, or that things have finally piled up high enough that I feel like I am drowning. Maybe both.

 I don't know how I got here, or when it began to spiral to an emotional low, I just know I am here. It's takes all I have lately just to do what HAS to be done, trying not to get overwhelmed with everything that should get done and trying not to get upset with the fact that I should NOT have to do it all.   I work from home so getting dressed is optional. I live with 3 people, yet I spend most of my time alone, and lately, when they are around, I still feel alone. I don't like to get dressed to go out of the house unless I have to, I just feel like I don't have enough energy for myself, much less anyone else.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I spend more time reading my bible then I ever have. I have been faithful with my daily reading in the One year Bible. I even started a new Bible study. So how can the rest of me feel so BLAH?

I have had enough experience with depression and anxiety to recognize it others, but I can't be depressed, my family depends on my 'sunshine' to keep their own depression and anxiety at bay. I am the knot in their ropes, their "the glass if half full". I can't be here, I don't want to be here.

I need your prayers. I need you to be the knot in my rope. I know that I have God, and that He is forever faithful, and that I am not alone, but I am not myself and I need to be, and I need to figure out how to get back to me.

Can you, will you, pray for me?

Givers and Takers........

Maya Angelo once said, "People will forget what you say, and people will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel".
Even if you are not a "feeler" type, this is true. I for one am. There is nothing that hurts me more deeply than not feeling valued and appreciated. I fear, for me, it'seems a catch 22, because I am also a giver, who seems to find myself surrounded by takers that, quite frankly, could care less how what they say or do might make you feel. To top it all off, I am also a Christian, striving to be like the ultimate giver, who is devalued and unappreciated everyday by millions, how does He do it and how can I not allow the takers of this world to harden the giver in me?
Studies have shown that there are far more takers in the world than givers. I suspect that will only get worse. Takers consider givers  doormats, or too nice, and to some extent they may very well be right. Boundaries are necessary for the giver, not to keep them from giving, but to keep others from taking and taking and taking till the giver feels they either have nothing left to give or just emotionally bankrupt from all the takers.

I struggle with boundaries. I like being helpful, giving of my time and talents and anything else that I can do to make someone's load a little lighter, or day a little brighter, I just can't help myself.  I don't want to change that about myself, I guess I would rather weather through the storms of feeling unappreciated and not valued, then take the chance of becoming the very thing that brings me this pain. Don't get me wrong, I have people in my life that do make me feel valued and appreciated, and I am truly grateful to have them, without them I probably would end up on the dark side.

I know that my worth is found not in this world but in the Maker of this world, Who understands why it hurts when you give and give of yourself and get little returned. So when the takers of this world get me down, I just stay there until God gives me the strength and courage to keep on giving just as He does.

If any of you find yourself feeling as I do, take heart, you are not alone but recognize when you need to step back and let God give to you His strength, love and courage  so that you can keep being the giver He made you to be.

Tuesday's Thoughts

Yesterday when I picked Nick up from his Lacrosse fundraiser he got in the car and he said Mom do you know you have some great friends and family? I said yes I know that how do you know that? As he began to tell me about his fundraiser I begin to get that warm wonderful feeling my heart confirming what I already know and that is I do have some wonderful family and friends. With that being said I just want to thank everyone who helped Nick with his Lacrosse fundraiser and let you know how much I appreciate y'all helping him out. I did get a few texts from some of you stating that you did not get the link from Nick for the fundraiser so I have attached it below. Thank you all very much.

As you may recall from my previous post I have been reading the Chronological Bible and even though I have heard these stories a hundred times deer in my lifetime I'm still amazed at some of the details that I've either forgotten or that were just not ever told to me. In reading I realize how sinful so many of God's chosen people were. Before the 10 commandments they committed adultery, lied and  a few more interesting things that we now consider sin. I know I completely understand why the 10 commandments would necessary. I am eager to get past the point where the Ten Commandments come into play but I know even when a person is called by God sin is still and will always be an issue.

I guess I have com to appreciate the similarities between God our Father and our own relationships with our parents and our children's with us. As we strive each and every day to be more and more like Christ I am still very much comforted in knowing that if God has plans for us or wants to use this in any way he will find a way to do just that. There Is No Greater Love then the love of experienced where the loving merciful and gracious Heavenly Father.

It's not too late to join me in the chronological One Year Bible I personally and still a few days behind but I'm really enjoying reading it.

Well I hope you have all had a wonderful Tuesday and I just want to thank you all again for the support that you've given to my son Nick.

Below us the link.  Nick will receive the credit as long as an order is placed by 3:30 Wednesday.

https://www.gaschoolstore.com/Store/Category/5429?t=8c0b2870-253f-4533-a937-e4478da0419d
-Tammy

The list.......

We are into the 2017 year and I am already working on my list of things to accomplish. Most of the list is somewhat trivial but I am a list maker so perhaps I will start small and end big.

I have given a lot of thought about this, and to be honest I am not sure just how radical I can get with this but I have decided to "attempt" the minimalist life style. As many of you know I come from a big family and it always seemed like wall to wall clutter in our home but when you have 9 people in one house gathering and keeping this or that, things can become overwhelming quickly. Obviously, from previous posts over the 2016 year clutter has become a re-run in my thought process, perhaps it is age, or just a longing for more simple in my life.  I began with my kitchen, mostly because I have niece who could use many of the items I have been hoarding, for what I am not sure, but my kitchen cupboards are looking pretty awesome and I still have a few more to go through but I have already filled 4 boxes! Next I think I will tackle the linens, I mean who needs 30 plus towels, 10 bedspreads/comforters, 5 sets of sheets for each bed, etc., etc., etc., NO ONE!!!

In addition to attempting the minimalist lifestyle, I am also going to try to stay faithful in my "One Year Chronological Bible" readings. I have attempted this many times before, only to get so far behind in my readings that I just give up. Will this year be any different, I hope so. I am super encouraged and strongly desire seeking a better understanding of my Father and what His plans for my life will be this year. I have heard and read this verse many times before, but it struck at my core and for the first time it resonated in me. Hebrews 4:12; "For the word of God is ALIVE and ACTIVE. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thought and attitudes of the heart". This is POWERFUL! Would love to hear if any of you choose to read it also.

I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions so why start now. I will say there is something refreshing about a new year that makes us feel like we can make this year better than the last, I don't usually get fired up until just before spring, that seems to be my awakening period of resolutions, but just for the record these are plans that I have been making I am just getting started, ya know had to finish the list first!

Over the next several weeks I am doing a study on the Beatitudes so look for me to do some blogging about that one.

Have a great day my friend....everyday!

-Tammy

God is good always.....

Hello my friends!
Well Christmas has come and gone but I have to say this year seemed a little less rushed for me mostly due to time management on my part which took the hustle and bustle out of the scenario, it was a most enjoyable Christmas day. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that you too were lucky enough to find some breathing time.

Hard to believe we are headed into a new year which will be filled with memories that mark the year with significance of some life altering event that is sure to be a part of it. 2016 had many moments like this for our family. Larry was out of a steady job, I began working from home, AC went out, my nephew was put on a permanent trachea, my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer to which she will continue chemo until February, but in the face of these events hope still shined through and brought out so much good when we could have chosen to let it beat us down. I see strength and hope, grace and mercy, as they sculpt us into better versions of ourselves. I see a God who places people in our lives that not just help us through difficult times but find joy in them too. I do not know what this new year will hold but I am confident in the one who does. God is good always no matter what may arise.

With every situation we have an opportunity to grow and despite the human inclination to focus on the here and now and the emotions of any given situation if we would just remind ourselves that "this too shall pass" we can cling to the promises that God is in control even when we feel out of control.

My prayer for you and myself is that we never forget to find God in every moment, good or bad, and find Him first because no matter how in control or out of control we might feel, the only one with real control is Him.

We have one very specific call on our lives, and mom's it is not the calling of being a mother (there is nothing biblical to support that) or the calling of a wife (we choose this) but the calling of seeking God FIRST. We take pride in being in control or taking control of this or that and never realize that very control is a trap, a distraction that can leave us feeling powerless when things don't work out as we plan because we actually think we are in control and never really are. God has got this, always has, always will, let Him be God and let us seek God, control how you can make that happen this year.

Happy new year my friends, may God always be your first response

Happy Thanksgiving.......

Happy Thanksgiving Friends!

I know it has been a while since I have written, but I did not want this day to pass without telling you all how thankful I am to have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life. I may not get to see you all, or even talk with you sometimes, but I hope that does not ever diminish the significance of how each of you have come to mean to me.

This morning I think back on the first Thanksgiving  in 1621,  I am amazed that very special day, between the Indians and the Pilgrims, would come to be one of our most treasured holidays between family and friends. Although I sometimes wonder if this holiday should be more about friends and strangers then family. How cool would it be to get together with several family members and friends, cook up a yummy thanksgiving feast together only to put them in "to go" containers and go out and feed those who are less fortunate? Perhaps an idea for another thanksgiving.

There are many blessing that come from being grateful for the good things we enjoy. Did you know that counting your blessings literally increases your emotional health? The more you focus on the good in your life, the less power the not so good things in your life can weigh you down. In addition, the more you think about how blessed you are, the more blessings you begin to see in your life. The world around you becomes more and more beautiful, the little things become big things and many seemingly big things become small things.

Thanksgiving may be a day set aside on the calendar, but it should be practiced everyday of the year. I will admit there are times that I don't feel much like reflecting on all I have to be thankful for, but it is in those very moments when I need to the most. So I encourage you, on this Thanksgiving day, and everyday to come, practice focusing on all that you have to be thankful for, and don't let anything steal the joy God so much wants for each of us.

Happy Thanksgiving, and don't eat too much!!!!

All my love............

Plant a seed.......

I want to share this facebook post from a friend of mine that comes at a time when many need to see love and kindness in what they believe to be a world of uncertainty. No one should ever nit see this in anyone who labels themselves as a "Christian".
From my friend Heidi:
Friends, I’m sharing this story because I want love to win. Today I experienced the very immediate, tangible realization of what happens when we obey Christ in loving one another as He commanded. Sometimes this is difficult, because of presuppositions, assumptions, divisions, or misunderstandings. Sometimes we are selfish or withdrawn when we should be selfless and accessible – and I am guilty of sometimes being at the front of this line.

In reading today’s news stories, it hurt my heart to read about how deeply anxious and concerned many people are regarding outcomes of the election. Of special significance is the storyline that Muslims in America report feeling threatened and on alert. I understand this feeling, of being singled out and treated badly based on my spiritual beliefs, from events both here in America and in my travels abroad. I’ve been praying and pondering throughout the day what could be done to bring people together to rebuild trust and relationships where political and religious faultlines – which in some cases have run silent and dormant for decades – suddenly shook and exposed the true core of our nation just 24 hours ago.

The Lord reminded me of Pastor J Mark Johns’ leading of the “Plant a Seed” effort we as a church undertook a couple of years ago. The idea was to do something kind, on purpose and without an agenda, for someone who could use a little help or encouragement. It was described as a conspiracy of kindness, to purposely send out signals of love everywhere that we went, without expecting anything in return. It was done just to live out the true love of Jesus that we talk about every week, with the message that the real proof of our faith comes not in our attendance on Sundays but in what we do on Monday in the office, Tuesday in traffic, and Wednesday on the way home. In response to his prompting, some of my friends from church mowed lawns for their neighbors; others bought movie tickets and provided free babysitting for overwhelmed parents who needed a night out; still others paid for lunch or dinner of the person behind them in line at Panera.

Today, I went to Starbucks over my lunch hour and took my time browsing before getting in line. I’d picked up a Christmas Blend pack of K-cups and found myself behind two young women who I thought may have been Arabic or Egyptian. They spoke in a language I did not recognize, and one was wearing a Muslim hijab, along with long, flowing clothing. As we drew closer to the front I felt moved to pick up their tab for coffee, and when the time was right I asked if I could do so. The woman closest to me, who spoke English, looked at me quizzically and said, “No, you don’t have to do that…” I said I would like to, if it was okay. She half-smiled and stepped back and said, “But WHY?” I said, “I just really want to do this for you, my treat.” Then she was smiling full-out, and said that was sweet, I didn’t have to, but okay. Then before agreeing she again asked, “But WHY?”

Before speaking to them, I thought about what I would say if asked this question. I didn’t want it to be about the election, either of our religions, or anything other than courtesy and friendliness. I wasn’t looking to make a statement, but to metaphorically wrap my arms around them and tell them everything would be okay. I wanted both women to feel surrounded by support just as I did in Cairo when a group of Muslim women befriended me and assured me they would watch out for me, as I felt and must have looked terrified after a series of stories best saved for another essay. 

To the woman in Starbucks who could not understand why I was reaching out to her and her friend, I simply responded, “I want to plant seeds of kindness and love.”

Her face was visibly overwhelmed with surprise and wonder and happiness, and she said, “Okay, then….uh…that’s so nice of you. Thank you, thank you very much. Oh, that’s so nice of you. Thank you.” The other woman, who I don’t think spoke English, was watching all this go down with the same wondrous look, looking as though she wasn't sure what was going on.

After I inserted my card and finished paying, the first woman thanked me again and let out a relaxed laugh and said, “You know, I think we should just move on from what happened yesterday and go forward." I nodded, and before I could respond, she said, "I think we should just hug it out!” I beamed, gave her a hug, and as we embraced, I whispered in her ear, “Bless you.” By this time my eyes were watering and I couldn’t look at her anymore for fear I would lose it right there in Starbucks. My heart was bursting with love and astonishment. She thanked me again, extended her hand to mine, and said, “I hope you have a happy Christmas.” I thanked her very much, and they moved on to the end of the counter to wait for their drinks and marble loaf. As I placed my order and paid, I could hear the two talking and I think the one woman was telling the other woman what had just happened. You could see the other woman – the one in the burka – slowly begin to smile, then full-out beam, until she looked at me and nodded with her hands clasped in front of her and we too spontaneously embraced in a hug. Just as they were about to leave, the woman in the burka came over to me, and in the most joyous, genuine smile I have seen in a number of weeks, using her best English she said, “I thank you so much and wish you a happy Christmas.”

Two Muslim women, wishing me happy Christmas, and all of us embracing, because of two cups of coffee and one marble loaf. I share this as commentary on the power and importance of bold, courageous acts of love during difficult times among people. Here we three were, in the middle of Starbucks in Gainesville, Florida, never having met before in our lives and on the surface, seemingly worlds apart in terms of religion; potentially distant in terms of politics; but sharing the unifying love of comforting, warm coffee. Never in my life would I have imagined that a Muslim, yet alone two Muslims, would wish me a happy Christmas. Perhaps it is because never in their lives would either of them have imagined that a random stranger would pay for their coffee, simply out of the desire to plant seeds of kindness and love. No agenda, no motivation, no craftily-worded propaganda or political positioning, just love and kindness as a singular platform. All of this went down in less than three minutes, which leads me to believe that if others engage in similar acts, we as a people can come back to the enjoyment of human decency and respect for each other. And we can do it far more quickly than the time during which we became so divided.

Please join with me in this conspiracy – to love one another, without stopping to determine what you can get out of it or whether you think the other person is worthy. Join with me in this quest to overcome our own fears, our own faultlines, and our own failings. Each of us is responsible for the energy and messages we send out into the world, for better or for worse. What happens to one, happens to all, and unless all of us are free, none of us is. Live and let live. Let’s make sure that love wins.

That's the call.........

In 1964, reflecting on the events surrounding John F. Kennedy’s recent assassination, Herbert W. Armstrong wrote, “God’s Word teaches us to have respect for authority. There can be no power, except as God allows. The Bible does not teach that this world’s governments are righteous, or representing God. But, so long as God allows them to wield an authority He established—even though they wield it contrary to His laws—to disrespect the government is to disrespect God.”

Well tomorrow is the big day and whatever the outcome of the election one thing remains, God is still and will always be on the throne and in control.  It is sad to see how many relationships were put to the test over this election, but if someone unfriended me because my views are different from theirs, then so be it. I will not deny my faith or shy away from what I believe for the sake of man, any man, and I will respect anyone who does the same even if it is different from my own.

As a Christian, I try to follow the rules of the Bible, and it is very clear we are to submit to those that have rule over us,  pray for those in leadership,  and obey the laws of the land.  Nowhere in the Bible did I see where we are to wish death,  and destruction to our leadership,  I live in America, and I do not wish harm to my leaders whomever they might be.  My prayer is that they walk in the wisdom of God and put the American people before any political agendas. Above all else my prayer is that God's will be done, I may not like it, I may not understand it, I may even question it, but I will place my trust in Him and His plan for my life and this world, whatever they may look like. That's the call.

Please don't let this election weigh you down, go vote based on what you believe is the best choice, and if you lose some friends based on that, then honey they are not really your friends and have probably done you a favor. May the peace of God be with you and His blessings on our country.