"The Beauty of Thorns Project"............

 Stepping out on faith should never be a tricky thing. The human condition seems to always give us reasons why we should not. Doubt can be spiritually crippling.

During my devotions this morning, as I was reading about Paul's thorns, and as I read, I felt impressed in my spirit to write about someone, who's thorns, like Paul's, have never been removed. Many wonder why Paul's "thorn in his side" was never revealed, but I have come to believe that was a spiritually a strategic move by God. Truth is, we all have thorns in our lives. It can be an addiction, affliction, personal pain, hidden secrets. The list goes on.  Paul's thorn, was never the point. The point is that regardless of the thorns, if we place our faith and trust in God that His grace it enough.

When God calls us and we chose to follow Him, He is enough to live out the call He places on our lives. All the faith we need has already been allocated to us and deposited in us. The bible tells us that God has dealt to every man a measure of faith. When Jesus spoke those final words of "it is finished" He was not just talking about the price that was paid for our sins. God has placed in each of us everything that we will ever need, and the only way to access it is through Him. By placing our trust in Him, seeking Him through His word and through time with Him we allow the Holy Spirit to gradual reveal the things we are ready to receive. Like a baby that goes from just his momma's milk to real food, that is how our walk with God is. It is a process and from a spiritual stand point, God only gives and reveals those things when we are mature enough to understand and receive them.

I love that if we look with our spiritual eyes that we can see God in everything.

By the grace and direction of the Holy Spirit, I am going to step out in faith, and write a book, because that is what I feel God is calling me to do. You all have been reading my blog for sometime now, and I don't know if I am a good writer or not, but I know that God is enough and will provide all that I need to carry our this calling. When God gives you a title, a story and reveals just how it will happen, what else can I do but step out in faith?

Because you are my friends, I will share with you, what I believe God is sharing with me. Many of you know or have heard me talk about my nephews, Mike and Derrick, and my sister Joanie. I cannot tell you how much God has used them during their lives. They have not just touch my life, in ways too many to mention, I know that God has used them to touch many lives. As I step out in faith, knowing that God is the author and finisher of my faith, I started a "You Caring" account called "The Beauty of Thorns Project" (link below).  I have no idea yet how much time will be involved in this, or how much travel or money this will take, but I do know that I have to follow the direction I believe that God is calling me in to write this story and believe that He is already working on my behalf as to how this will get published. It is not my desire to become some famous writer, it is only my desire to be obedient. I don't even believe this is for me, but rather a legacy of faith in the face of all the un-removed thorns in the lives of those who believe that God's grace is enough.


If you feel, through prayer, that you would like to partner with me as I step out in faith, and want to share "The Beauty of Thorns Project" please share the 'you caring' link below. Please keep me in your prayers that I will be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit as He guides me in writing this book. I won't lie, stepping out in faith like this is unsettling to the human in me, the doubts , the fears, the uncertainty of it all, the probable criticism from others, so many reasons to run and hide and forget this crazy idea but isn't that what faith is? "God is enough" will be my anthem, as He guides me through my "I believe, but help my un-belief" moments.


https://www.youcaring.com/zirlottwinsettfamily-787855

Hanging up my cape..........

I want to thank all of my friends who have reached out to me this week after my last post,  some of you did not waste anytime swooping in to provide strength and encouragement, I am truly blessed to have friends like you!

I would like to say I am back on top, but I suspect this will be a journey, not a quick trip. The weight of living can get overwhelming, and sometimes we don't realize how much it is weighing us down until the load is so heavy that we can't get out from under it alone and need help. Truth is I have trouble recognizing, not just that I need help, but that it is okay to ask for help.

I am currently reading "Uninvited" by Lysa Terkeurst, last night I read something  that really hit me. Like many of you I  enjoy doing bible studies and trying to deepen my relationship with God. Lysa pointed out that with all we do to find God, sometimes we fail to just be with Him. Here is how she explained it :

 "Imagine a little girl running with a cup in her hand sloshing out all it contains. She thinks what will refill her is just ahead. Just a little farther. She presses on with sheer determination and clenched teeth and an empty cup clutched tight. She keeps running toward an agenda He never set and one that will never satisfy. She sees Him and holds her cup. But she catches only a few drops as she runs by Him, because she didn't stop long enough to be filled up. Empty can't be tempered with mere drops. The tragic truth is what will fill her-what will fill us- isn't the accomplishment or the next relationship ahead. That shiny thing is actually a vacuum that sucks us in and sucks us dry....but never had the ability to refill. I should know because that is where I was. There's no kind of empty quite like this empty: where your hands are full but inside you're nothing but and exhausted shell."

Simply put, this is where I am, and perhaps many of you too. I spend so much time in service to God, that I don't spend enough time just being with God. Lysa went on to say;

"Since my fast-paced chase had gotten me into this mess, I knew it would take slow moments to get me out of it. I needed to reconnect with the One who knows how to breathe life and love back into depleted and dead places. Jesus doesn't participate in the rat race. He's into the slower rhythms of life, like abiding, delighting, and dwelling - all work that require us to trust Him with our place and pace."

We, as women and mothers, stay so busy with this or that, that we seldom slow down long enough to truly be filled and refreshed. We are constantly running on fumes. Who set this pace for us? It wasn't God, our Creator. When did we get off script and how can we get back on HIS script for our lives?

SLOW DOWN! STOP! ABIDE! DELIGHT! DWELL! I am not talking about down time. I am talking about knee time. Our cups will never get filled in down time, we may fill refreshed, but is a temporary feeling what we need? I need more.

I have decided that I am hanging up my cape, I don't want to feel like I need to be the superhero in my life and those around me, I just want to be the sidekick to the only real superhero there should be - God. If we would JUST do our parts as women, mothers, wives, etc., etc., eventually those around us would have step up and do theirs. This is what I will trust God for in my life, that I will do my part and He will find a way to get others to do theirs or re-wire me not to take the weight of it all upon myself. I am good with whatever He decides.

Have a good week everyone.

This is NOT me...............

Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of just losing it? Truth is, I am struggling. I don't know if it's hormones, or that things have finally piled up high enough that I feel like I am drowning. Maybe both.

 I don't know how I got here, or when it began to spiral to an emotional low, I just know I am here. It's takes all I have lately just to do what HAS to be done, trying not to get overwhelmed with everything that should get done and trying not to get upset with the fact that I should NOT have to do it all.   I work from home so getting dressed is optional. I live with 3 people, yet I spend most of my time alone, and lately, when they are around, I still feel alone. I don't like to get dressed to go out of the house unless I have to, I just feel like I don't have enough energy for myself, much less anyone else.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I spend more time reading my bible then I ever have. I have been faithful with my daily reading in the One year Bible. I even started a new Bible study. So how can the rest of me feel so BLAH?

I have had enough experience with depression and anxiety to recognize it others, but I can't be depressed, my family depends on my 'sunshine' to keep their own depression and anxiety at bay. I am the knot in their ropes, their "the glass if half full". I can't be here, I don't want to be here.

I need your prayers. I need you to be the knot in my rope. I know that I have God, and that He is forever faithful, and that I am not alone, but I am not myself and I need to be, and I need to figure out how to get back to me.

Can you, will you, pray for me?

Givers and Takers........

Maya Angelo once said, "People will forget what you say, and people will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel".
Even if you are not a "feeler" type, this is true. I for one am. There is nothing that hurts me more deeply than not feeling valued and appreciated. I fear, for me, it'seems a catch 22, because I am also a giver, who seems to find myself surrounded by takers that, quite frankly, could care less how what they say or do might make you feel. To top it all off, I am also a Christian, striving to be like the ultimate giver, who is devalued and unappreciated everyday by millions, how does He do it and how can I not allow the takers of this world to harden the giver in me?
Studies have shown that there are far more takers in the world than givers. I suspect that will only get worse. Takers consider givers  doormats, or too nice, and to some extent they may very well be right. Boundaries are necessary for the giver, not to keep them from giving, but to keep others from taking and taking and taking till the giver feels they either have nothing left to give or just emotionally bankrupt from all the takers.

I struggle with boundaries. I like being helpful, giving of my time and talents and anything else that I can do to make someone's load a little lighter, or day a little brighter, I just can't help myself.  I don't want to change that about myself, I guess I would rather weather through the storms of feeling unappreciated and not valued, then take the chance of becoming the very thing that brings me this pain. Don't get me wrong, I have people in my life that do make me feel valued and appreciated, and I am truly grateful to have them, without them I probably would end up on the dark side.

I know that my worth is found not in this world but in the Maker of this world, Who understands why it hurts when you give and give of yourself and get little returned. So when the takers of this world get me down, I just stay there until God gives me the strength and courage to keep on giving just as He does.

If any of you find yourself feeling as I do, take heart, you are not alone but recognize when you need to step back and let God give to you His strength, love and courage  so that you can keep being the giver He made you to be.

Tuesday's Thoughts

Yesterday when I picked Nick up from his Lacrosse fundraiser he got in the car and he said Mom do you know you have some great friends and family? I said yes I know that how do you know that? As he began to tell me about his fundraiser I begin to get that warm wonderful feeling my heart confirming what I already know and that is I do have some wonderful family and friends. With that being said I just want to thank everyone who helped Nick with his Lacrosse fundraiser and let you know how much I appreciate y'all helping him out. I did get a few texts from some of you stating that you did not get the link from Nick for the fundraiser so I have attached it below. Thank you all very much.

As you may recall from my previous post I have been reading the Chronological Bible and even though I have heard these stories a hundred times deer in my lifetime I'm still amazed at some of the details that I've either forgotten or that were just not ever told to me. In reading I realize how sinful so many of God's chosen people were. Before the 10 commandments they committed adultery, lied and  a few more interesting things that we now consider sin. I know I completely understand why the 10 commandments would necessary. I am eager to get past the point where the Ten Commandments come into play but I know even when a person is called by God sin is still and will always be an issue.

I guess I have com to appreciate the similarities between God our Father and our own relationships with our parents and our children's with us. As we strive each and every day to be more and more like Christ I am still very much comforted in knowing that if God has plans for us or wants to use this in any way he will find a way to do just that. There Is No Greater Love then the love of experienced where the loving merciful and gracious Heavenly Father.

It's not too late to join me in the chronological One Year Bible I personally and still a few days behind but I'm really enjoying reading it.

Well I hope you have all had a wonderful Tuesday and I just want to thank you all again for the support that you've given to my son Nick.

Below us the link.  Nick will receive the credit as long as an order is placed by 3:30 Wednesday.

https://www.gaschoolstore.com/Store/Category/5429?t=8c0b2870-253f-4533-a937-e4478da0419d
-Tammy

The list.......

We are into the 2017 year and I am already working on my list of things to accomplish. Most of the list is somewhat trivial but I am a list maker so perhaps I will start small and end big.

I have given a lot of thought about this, and to be honest I am not sure just how radical I can get with this but I have decided to "attempt" the minimalist life style. As many of you know I come from a big family and it always seemed like wall to wall clutter in our home but when you have 9 people in one house gathering and keeping this or that, things can become overwhelming quickly. Obviously, from previous posts over the 2016 year clutter has become a re-run in my thought process, perhaps it is age, or just a longing for more simple in my life.  I began with my kitchen, mostly because I have niece who could use many of the items I have been hoarding, for what I am not sure, but my kitchen cupboards are looking pretty awesome and I still have a few more to go through but I have already filled 4 boxes! Next I think I will tackle the linens, I mean who needs 30 plus towels, 10 bedspreads/comforters, 5 sets of sheets for each bed, etc., etc., etc., NO ONE!!!

In addition to attempting the minimalist lifestyle, I am also going to try to stay faithful in my "One Year Chronological Bible" readings. I have attempted this many times before, only to get so far behind in my readings that I just give up. Will this year be any different, I hope so. I am super encouraged and strongly desire seeking a better understanding of my Father and what His plans for my life will be this year. I have heard and read this verse many times before, but it struck at my core and for the first time it resonated in me. Hebrews 4:12; "For the word of God is ALIVE and ACTIVE. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thought and attitudes of the heart". This is POWERFUL! Would love to hear if any of you choose to read it also.

I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions so why start now. I will say there is something refreshing about a new year that makes us feel like we can make this year better than the last, I don't usually get fired up until just before spring, that seems to be my awakening period of resolutions, but just for the record these are plans that I have been making I am just getting started, ya know had to finish the list first!

Over the next several weeks I am doing a study on the Beatitudes so look for me to do some blogging about that one.

Have a great day my friend....everyday!

-Tammy

God is good always.....

Hello my friends!
Well Christmas has come and gone but I have to say this year seemed a little less rushed for me mostly due to time management on my part which took the hustle and bustle out of the scenario, it was a most enjoyable Christmas day. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that you too were lucky enough to find some breathing time.

Hard to believe we are headed into a new year which will be filled with memories that mark the year with significance of some life altering event that is sure to be a part of it. 2016 had many moments like this for our family. Larry was out of a steady job, I began working from home, AC went out, my nephew was put on a permanent trachea, my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer to which she will continue chemo until February, but in the face of these events hope still shined through and brought out so much good when we could have chosen to let it beat us down. I see strength and hope, grace and mercy, as they sculpt us into better versions of ourselves. I see a God who places people in our lives that not just help us through difficult times but find joy in them too. I do not know what this new year will hold but I am confident in the one who does. God is good always no matter what may arise.

With every situation we have an opportunity to grow and despite the human inclination to focus on the here and now and the emotions of any given situation if we would just remind ourselves that "this too shall pass" we can cling to the promises that God is in control even when we feel out of control.

My prayer for you and myself is that we never forget to find God in every moment, good or bad, and find Him first because no matter how in control or out of control we might feel, the only one with real control is Him.

We have one very specific call on our lives, and mom's it is not the calling of being a mother (there is nothing biblical to support that) or the calling of a wife (we choose this) but the calling of seeking God FIRST. We take pride in being in control or taking control of this or that and never realize that very control is a trap, a distraction that can leave us feeling powerless when things don't work out as we plan because we actually think we are in control and never really are. God has got this, always has, always will, let Him be God and let us seek God, control how you can make that happen this year.

Happy new year my friends, may God always be your first response