Ya know those moments when you are surrounded by people and sounds and yet not hear a thing? You are so focused on something internally that everything else fades into the background. That is where I have been the last few days. My thoughts and prayers have kept me occupied and slightly holding my breathe wondering if my requested outcome would be in line with God's plan for my sister. Thankfully it was and now I feel like I can breathe a little.
I know it may seem a little strange that I have felt this way but I have come to believe that I can pray whatever I want to pray as long as I realize that sometimes the answer will be no. I have watched countless numbers of people get angry with God not because He did not answer their prayers but because He did not answer them the way they wanted Him to. Some have left the faith and some have remained and some have stayed but have held on to the bitterness of that unanswered prayer unable to grow in their relationship with God. What an interesting thought though to think that someone would need to forgive God for not giving them what they asked for, failing to realize that the real forgiveness is needed from God for not giving Him what He asked for - our faith and trust in Him.
No matter what my request may be I have made it a habit to include "Thy will be done". I know that I can ask the Father for anything, but I realize that because He holds my tomorrows and yours, He is the only one who can truly make the best informed decision about anything and everything. As a christian I have to be willing to accept and trust those decisions regardless of how painful it might be. This is not easy, but that is the deal. I was created for Him not He for me. I made the decision to seek Him first, to Trust in all His ways, "not my will but Thine be done" and all that jazz. I want to be found faithful even when His decisions break my heart, or make me mad or disappointed.
It is amazing to me how being a parent has helped me to better understand my relationship with God. Many times we make decisions for our children that they are not happy with, or think is unfair, but we do them because we love them and want what is best for them, we know the potential outcomes because we have been there before and we want better for our children and if that means we disappoint them along the way then that is what we do. God does the same for us and one day we, just as our children, will look back and realize that it was the best decision.
Thank you all for your prayers for my sister I know that she appreciates them all.
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