All I Ever have to be……

Many times we get so caught up in the roles of this life that we lose sight of our starting role. The lyrics below remind me that God expects nothing more of me but to be who He created me to be.  

All I Ever have to Be (Amy Grant)

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said
But I'm still hurting, wondering if I'll ever be the one
I think I am - I think I am

Then you gently re-remind me
That You've made me from the first
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst
And I realize the good in me is only there because of who You are
Who You are...

And all I ever have to be is what You've made me
Any more or less would be a step out of Your plan
As you daily recreate me help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do what I can find
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be is what You've made me

I find myself in a place sometimes, that I am failing in areas of my life. Rather it is my role as a wife or mother sometimes I just don’t feel that I am measuring up. Many times we put so much effort it trying to be the best at this or that, that somewhere along the way we lose sight of who we really are.

Above all roles that are played in my life, first and foremost I am not just a woman, but I am beautifully and wonderfully made and loved by a Father that knows me inside and out, the good and bad, the strengths and the weaknesses,  the beautiful and the ugly and loves me still.

God created me for a purpose, and although that purpose may include wife and mother, He first just made me to be me. In many failed attempts of being a good wife and good mom, there have been many times I have tried to do so outside the fabric of who I am and though there have been some successes the ones that really mattered and made a lasting impression are in the moments that I stayed true to me.

Truth be told I am one of those people who truly enjoys being me, despite my many weaknesses and failures, because at my core the best parts of being me have been masterfully molded by a loving Father that knows exactly where to apply the necessary pressure to shape me just so to fit rightly in His plan for my life.

In my heart I know that God has given me the necessary tools to live out His plan for my life, but in my mind, doubts and pride can seep in and whisper words or discouragement, or events and situations can make me feel like somewhere along the way I have failed, forgetting that I can only do that which is in MY power to do and trust that God will fill in the gaps along the way. I cannot be a male role model in the lives of my children, especially my son’s.  I cannot give what is not mine to give. I cannot make up for lost times, or missed opportunities that have nothing to do with me. I can only be what God has made me to be and if that is enough for Him, it’s enough. Perhaps those places, that I feel lacking in, is nothing more than a perfectly designed opportunity to allow God to just be God.

Psalm 25:4-5  (NIV)

⁴ Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
⁵ Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.