"The Beauty of Thorns Project"............

 Stepping out on faith should never be a tricky thing. The human condition seems to always give us reasons why we should not. Doubt can be spiritually crippling.

During my devotions this morning, as I was reading about Paul's thorns, and as I read, I felt impressed in my spirit to write about someone, who's thorns, like Paul's, have never been removed. Many wonder why Paul's "thorn in his side" was never revealed, but I have come to believe that was a spiritually a strategic move by God. Truth is, we all have thorns in our lives. It can be an addiction, affliction, personal pain, hidden secrets. The list goes on.  Paul's thorn, was never the point. The point is that regardless of the thorns, if we place our faith and trust in God that His grace it enough.

When God calls us and we chose to follow Him, He is enough to live out the call He places on our lives. All the faith we need has already been allocated to us and deposited in us. The bible tells us that God has dealt to every man a measure of faith. When Jesus spoke those final words of "it is finished" He was not just talking about the price that was paid for our sins. God has placed in each of us everything that we will ever need, and the only way to access it is through Him. By placing our trust in Him, seeking Him through His word and through time with Him we allow the Holy Spirit to gradual reveal the things we are ready to receive. Like a baby that goes from just his momma's milk to real food, that is how our walk with God is. It is a process and from a spiritual stand point, God only gives and reveals those things when we are mature enough to understand and receive them.

I love that if we look with our spiritual eyes that we can see God in everything.

By the grace and direction of the Holy Spirit, I am going to step out in faith, and write a book, because that is what I feel God is calling me to do. You all have been reading my blog for sometime now, and I don't know if I am a good writer or not, but I know that God is enough and will provide all that I need to carry our this calling. When God gives you a title, a story and reveals just how it will happen, what else can I do but step out in faith?

Because you are my friends, I will share with you, what I believe God is sharing with me. Many of you know or have heard me talk about my nephews, Mike and Derrick, and my sister Joanie. I cannot tell you how much God has used them during their lives. They have not just touch my life, in ways too many to mention, I know that God has used them to touch many lives. As I step out in faith, knowing that God is the author and finisher of my faith, I started a "You Caring" account called "The Beauty of Thorns Project" (link below).  I have no idea yet how much time will be involved in this, or how much travel or money this will take, but I do know that I have to follow the direction I believe that God is calling me in to write this story and believe that He is already working on my behalf as to how this will get published. It is not my desire to become some famous writer, it is only my desire to be obedient. I don't even believe this is for me, but rather a legacy of faith in the face of all the un-removed thorns in the lives of those who believe that God's grace is enough.


If you feel, through prayer, that you would like to partner with me as I step out in faith, and want to share "The Beauty of Thorns Project" please share the 'you caring' link below. Please keep me in your prayers that I will be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit as He guides me in writing this book. I won't lie, stepping out in faith like this is unsettling to the human in me, the doubts , the fears, the uncertainty of it all, the probable criticism from others, so many reasons to run and hide and forget this crazy idea but isn't that what faith is? "God is enough" will be my anthem, as He guides me through my "I believe, but help my un-belief" moments.


https://www.youcaring.com/zirlottwinsettfamily-787855

Hanging up my cape..........

I want to thank all of my friends who have reached out to me this week after my last post,  some of you did not waste anytime swooping in to provide strength and encouragement, I am truly blessed to have friends like you!

I would like to say I am back on top, but I suspect this will be a journey, not a quick trip. The weight of living can get overwhelming, and sometimes we don't realize how much it is weighing us down until the load is so heavy that we can't get out from under it alone and need help. Truth is I have trouble recognizing, not just that I need help, but that it is okay to ask for help.

I am currently reading "Uninvited" by Lysa Terkeurst, last night I read something  that really hit me. Like many of you I  enjoy doing bible studies and trying to deepen my relationship with God. Lysa pointed out that with all we do to find God, sometimes we fail to just be with Him. Here is how she explained it :

 "Imagine a little girl running with a cup in her hand sloshing out all it contains. She thinks what will refill her is just ahead. Just a little farther. She presses on with sheer determination and clenched teeth and an empty cup clutched tight. She keeps running toward an agenda He never set and one that will never satisfy. She sees Him and holds her cup. But she catches only a few drops as she runs by Him, because she didn't stop long enough to be filled up. Empty can't be tempered with mere drops. The tragic truth is what will fill her-what will fill us- isn't the accomplishment or the next relationship ahead. That shiny thing is actually a vacuum that sucks us in and sucks us dry....but never had the ability to refill. I should know because that is where I was. There's no kind of empty quite like this empty: where your hands are full but inside you're nothing but and exhausted shell."

Simply put, this is where I am, and perhaps many of you too. I spend so much time in service to God, that I don't spend enough time just being with God. Lysa went on to say;

"Since my fast-paced chase had gotten me into this mess, I knew it would take slow moments to get me out of it. I needed to reconnect with the One who knows how to breathe life and love back into depleted and dead places. Jesus doesn't participate in the rat race. He's into the slower rhythms of life, like abiding, delighting, and dwelling - all work that require us to trust Him with our place and pace."

We, as women and mothers, stay so busy with this or that, that we seldom slow down long enough to truly be filled and refreshed. We are constantly running on fumes. Who set this pace for us? It wasn't God, our Creator. When did we get off script and how can we get back on HIS script for our lives?

SLOW DOWN! STOP! ABIDE! DELIGHT! DWELL! I am not talking about down time. I am talking about knee time. Our cups will never get filled in down time, we may fill refreshed, but is a temporary feeling what we need? I need more.

I have decided that I am hanging up my cape, I don't want to feel like I need to be the superhero in my life and those around me, I just want to be the sidekick to the only real superhero there should be - God. If we would JUST do our parts as women, mothers, wives, etc., etc., eventually those around us would have step up and do theirs. This is what I will trust God for in my life, that I will do my part and He will find a way to get others to do theirs or re-wire me not to take the weight of it all upon myself. I am good with whatever He decides.

Have a good week everyone.

This is NOT me...............

Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of just losing it? Truth is, I am struggling. I don't know if it's hormones, or that things have finally piled up high enough that I feel like I am drowning. Maybe both.

 I don't know how I got here, or when it began to spiral to an emotional low, I just know I am here. It's takes all I have lately just to do what HAS to be done, trying not to get overwhelmed with everything that should get done and trying not to get upset with the fact that I should NOT have to do it all.   I work from home so getting dressed is optional. I live with 3 people, yet I spend most of my time alone, and lately, when they are around, I still feel alone. I don't like to get dressed to go out of the house unless I have to, I just feel like I don't have enough energy for myself, much less anyone else.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I spend more time reading my bible then I ever have. I have been faithful with my daily reading in the One year Bible. I even started a new Bible study. So how can the rest of me feel so BLAH?

I have had enough experience with depression and anxiety to recognize it others, but I can't be depressed, my family depends on my 'sunshine' to keep their own depression and anxiety at bay. I am the knot in their ropes, their "the glass if half full". I can't be here, I don't want to be here.

I need your prayers. I need you to be the knot in my rope. I know that I have God, and that He is forever faithful, and that I am not alone, but I am not myself and I need to be, and I need to figure out how to get back to me.

Can you, will you, pray for me?