"In the quiet of an early morning, honesty finds me. It calls to me through a crack in my soul and invites me to come out, come out, wherever you are" - (Chapter 1 opening line of Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst).
Do you ever spend so much time working on the person you long to be that you unintentionally fail to acknowledge the person you currently are?
Why do we have such a difficult time being genuinely honest with ourselves? It seems we have an almost irresistible need to find something about ourselves that makes us feel valuable and worthy and focus most of our energy on those things rather than face the ugliness or failures that also are apart of who we are.
It is hard to find people who are willing to be brutally honest with themselves. Most people cannot even see the issue here. Truth is that the person to whom we lie the most is ourselves. Our own hearts lie to us and we justify ourselves automatically (Jeremiah 17:9a) (Proverbs 16:2). We are highly skilled at telling lies to ourselves and believing them, when even the most naive person, standing nearby, would recognize it as a lie. We operate a hypocritical double standard. We judge ourselves, and our own motives and actions extremely generously, without any inner debate or questioning of ourselves. Therefore we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, and are quick to justify our actions and excuse our failures. We frequently block out, and therefore do not hear, any thought which contradicts, or even questions, our own actions or attitudes.
It is rare for a person who has been in conflict or argument to stop and say to themselves "let's examine my own actions and attitudes here. Am I out of order? How do my actions and words appear to others?" These are questions we ought to ask ourselves daily, but some rarely do. Asking ourselves theses questions help us to see ourselves as others might and can bring about enormous personal growth and benefit all the relationships in our lives.
I know it's easier to see things in other's than in ourselves. Having knowledge of something and actually applying and implementing that knowledge are not the same. Knowledge is only power when it can benefit us in someway, otherwise its just a bunch of useless information.
Learning and being honest in the truth about ourselves can be a long and uncomfortable process of discovery. Coming to terms with what sort of person you really are, "warts and all" is vital to our christian walk, and that is what God is after, this rare quality of being honest with ourselves, no matter where it takes us or what it costs, frees us to fully surrender all of who we are, so that He can make us all He wants us to be.
Such raw honestly can be transforming and yes even a little painful, but as I have said many times, growth is painful, but necessary. I have looked in the mirror, far beyond the me I think myself to be or the me I show to the world and there are broken pieces, misconceptions, and flaws, but if God can take me and love me how He found me, I know that I can trust Him to put me back together, clear and make straight the misconceptions, correct my flaws, prune, nurture and grow me.
Forever a work in progress...................
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