"To Know Me IS To Love Me"

There are times when someone does something "thoughtful" for you and rather you like it or not you gratefully say thank you and sometimes the thank you is for the gift and thoughtfulness and sometimes its just for the thoughtfulness. I don't know if its just me or not but I like to buy gifts for people that I think, knowing this person, they would like, and rarely based on something I like. It is not uncommon for me to see things and someone pops into my head that I know would like it but if there is any doubt I do not purchase it. I value the art of paying attention to the likes and dislikes of individuals in my life and perhaps partly cause I would want someone to value me enough to do the same.

My husband is notorious for buying me things that I don't want or like and although I appreciate the thoughtfulness I am saddened by the fact that, after 17 years,  either he does not know me or.....well I just dont have an or! At what point is it ok to say your thoughtfulness lacks thought? How can I be truly  appreciative of someones "thoughfulness" when it only pains me to think of how little I am known to him?

I am a thoughtful person who tends to put alot of thought into the things I do for others and  it makes me very happy when someone truly appreciates the gift as much as the thoughtfulness, this is my love language,  to feel appreciated. I don't feel love and appreciated through gifts, I feel loved when someone appreciates me and through acts of service, imagine how much money my husband could save if he just cleaned the house, cooked dinner, cleaned up the yard, washed my car, and so forth not only would I feel appreciated but I would feel loved too. What a bargain! Don't misunderstand, I like gifts, but I would just prefer getting a gift that comes with the knowledge of being known to someone and I think that is true for most people.

So in closing I believe if you really want to give someone something that makes them feel special and loved first find out what it is that makes them feel that way, what is their love language cause it may not be the same as yours and often times it probably isn't. I use to be confused  about "to know me is to love me" but now I understand that to really love someone its vital that you invest in getting to know them so that you can understand what it takes for them to feel loved by you.

-Tammy